


To Be or not to Be

by isisisatis



Category: Babylon 5, Babylon 5 & Related Fandoms
Genre: Inner Dialogue, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 19:39:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12283059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isisisatis/pseuds/isisisatis
Summary: Story for the advent challenge 2009





	To Be or not to Be

**Author's Note:**

> Heads-up for possibly weird sentences and spelling mistakes, since this hasn’t seen a beta *g*

Was it love? Or lust? I couldn’t really tell because all I feel right now when you appear before me is an instant desire to lie under your strong body, writhing in desperation for release, or to make you moan with unrestrained abandon, while I do unspeakable – unthinkable – things… to you. I was a *late bloomer* concerning the actual act of the flesh but I certainly was not an unwritten book concerning theory! But actually wanting instead of just knowing had been unimaginable until recently.

 

Merely thinking about you gives me serious flushes in the groin department which lead to immediate redness in my face. Even now I can feel my heart rate increasing by the second when I just think of your grin and the gaze you could give. I have never before seen so much heat, heat that was meant for me and my body. I like that you literally worship my body. It feels nice to have something appreciated that I have to work on every day. As if your appreciation made it worth more than being able to physically fight for my life and that of others.

 

I can’t prevent the smile that always seems to literally spring to my lips when I see you. Sometimes my heart would skip a beat when I see a random Minbari in Warrior Caste uniform until I realize it isn’t really you. Sometimes I would even start to smile in the reminiscence of you.

 

If it was you, I couldn’t for my life hide the smile that was in my eyes, even if I managed to keep it from my lips. Just like right now. I feel the rapid pace of my pulse, feel it in my fingertips, in my throat, even in the tips of my hair. Everything feels alive and vibrating. My entire skin is burning in need for a single touch of skin on skin. But as always, we would restrain ourselves. Outsiders would only see Delenn’s favourite Ranger greeting one of the Warrior Caste and leading him to the prepared quarters. But out of sight…

 

Even one gaze from your dark burning eyes, a simple greeting from your lips, spoken in a deep promising drawl, made me almost limp with desire. Never in my life had I met somebody who could reduce my brain to a single working neuron. A primal neuron desperate for sex. It felt wonderful, I felt desirable.

 

Yet there was more to it. We also had loads of fun talking. Afterwards. You just *got* me and we understood each other on a level that rivalled the one I had with my brother William. And not to forget the good-natured bantering we exercised back and forth! I surely haven’t laughed like this for a long time. Though we also had our serious moments, you do both so well. You seem to know when there is a time to be serious and when it is time to lighten the mood.

 

Yet all that pales when you stride towards me because what I feel right now is pure liquid desire. I want to feel your soft lips on mine, tongues touching intimately. Because for now it is lust that I feel and it feels too good to care if there was love involved as long as you came for me… and only me.

Did it really matter if it was only lust or also love? Because love could vanish just as easily as lust could. So, was there really a difference? I couldn’t tell any longer and I didn’t care. I would just enjoy what I had as long as it lasted.

 

THE END


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